The purpose of the Spotlight conversation is to talk about culture, about culture change, about the role of leadership in this and employee involvement. But of course, it is first of all about Petra Bosse and so we are immediately immersed in a conversation about travel.
“Africa has shaped my life and thoughts about leadership.”
When I arrived in Africa, Zimbabwe, for the first time in 1986, I was completely overwhelmed and felt at home at the same time. The completely different environment, where nothing looked, nothing felt, nothing smelled, like in the Netherlands or anywhere in Europe. Groups of people under a tree who made decisions together; the car companies, the hairdresser, just on the corner of the street in the open air, the sale of vegetables and fruits on the ground. Everything was so different that I had no choice but to surrender to my curiosity, my emotions and my a flexibility to make something out of it. Such a different context made me really look and see how people shaped their lives. How they could earn money for their (extended) family and be happy. The personal leadership I saw then, in the creativity and ability to live in the 'here and now', to make something of it, made a deep impression on me. Even though it sometimes seemed hopeless to my European eyes. It has shaped my life and also my thoughts about work and leadership. Together: caring for each other, daring to dream, hope and do are important principles for leadership, the carrier of culture.
Much later I would also explicitly use 'out of context' as a design principle for leadership development in my work. Managers are busy and often live from their heads. Their heads are so full that they are physically tense, want to keep control and take the time to look, to observe before making a decision.
If you take 'busy' leaders into nature, it is a nourishing experience. Nature creates space in your head: your breathing drops, you become looser, freer, closer to the emotional side of yourself. In such an environment you learn about your physical strength and limitations and you get to know your emotions and use your intuition better. You use all your senses, but in conjunction.
With good guidance and reflection, nature and travel become a powerful metaphor for leadership development. The uncertain situations in nature make you more honest to yourself and thus development becomes possible. Places also help to anchor: At the intersection of two tectonic plates in Iceland, a strategic choice is beautifully reinforced by the place where the decision is made. A lot of complexity disappears in nature and without a single power point slide. People then have a greater ability to look at the same strategic challenges with new eyes. They also use their creative right brain more. The trip creates a special connection between team members. The reverse is also true: in no other place than on a holiday or a leadership trip, it becomes more visible that things are not going well.
"Bring the emotion back into courageous conversations."
In courageous conversations with leaders and their management teams, I like to talk about the real issues at stake: the desires, wishes and pain that people experience. The relationship, the openness therein and the understanding towards each other, determine the strength and success of the team. An example is a conversation between three women and a man in a leadership team recently. They had experienced a deep breach of trust amongst each other: “I never want to work with you again. I do not trust you anymore." After two conversations, this had changed to: “I want you to have my back: stand up and support me when I receive strong resistance from the Supervisory Board.” I bring depth to these types of conversations with reflections such as: “I hear something different.” Or: “I see your face change.” Or: “I haven't heard from you in a while: how do you feel about this?” I bring the emotion back in a conversation. Emotion creates connection, which is ultimately the core of collaboration.
There is a time for everything. Not everything needs to be discussed immediately, certainly not in one conversation. Sometimes the moment of enlightenment does not take place in one conversation. Then an argument must first be given time and air. Like a campfire that goes out when there is not enough air. People initially like to point to others, or think for others. I then help them to look at themselves, that is where the influence lies. An opinion often shifts over a weekend or a week. An informal phone call helps, or a moment at a coffee machine, or if you are the first to meet someone in MSTeams, or the last to linger.
I like to think in terms of contradictions. In paradoxes there is always tension, which makes it interesting and also complicated. Looking for the tension in the system from a state of relaxation. We all know this from sports, yoga or Tai Chi. That can also be done mentally. When there is a lot of talk about difficulties, I ask about the opposite: what do you experience as easy. When everyone is focused on growth, I like to explore where you can shrink to grow. I am a pragmatic dreamer, an autonomous collaborator and a safe adventurer. I bring 'care' and 'dare' together as Kohlrieser describes in the book of the same name. That concept is simple: everyone recognizes it in themselves, one is more typically 'dare', the other feels more natural connection to 'care'. You don't have to agree with each other, but you do want to understand each other. Good questions come from 'care and dare'. These questions even bring the negotiator and the hostage taker into contact. These questions build the relationship. This creates space to think about other things and make decisions. A confirmation can be so complimentary to a good question: “How nice of you to answer! Great that you are thinking about this.”
In a sense, we are all hostages. Of ourselves. Of our own limiting beliefs. I go home happy if I can make a coachee realize that, or create a breakthrough in a team that is stuck.
